is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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