I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
