Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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