get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thus making me awesome and them whores
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
