someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
