you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
