it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize