I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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