I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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