I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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