Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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