I wish I only lived at night.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
