I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
