Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize