Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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