Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My liver just had a heart attack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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