You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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