I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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