What a fucking waste of an outfit
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
my liver is dry heaving
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
