I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize