That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize