i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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