i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize