I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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