i just made my gag reflex go away.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize