doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
