one two three fourrrrnication!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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