Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
