Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
