If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Quick, to the slutcave!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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