Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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