Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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