How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
