that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
