I hate your face
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
