I faked an abortion last night.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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