And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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