What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
