Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
