we're chasing vodka with high fives
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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