rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
