from now on my penis is your penis
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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