She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
