Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
