Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
