the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
