seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
