Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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