I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was born a porn star she said
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
