Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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