you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
