i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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