He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
