The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
