It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
