I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
