I just cut my nipple shaving
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
