He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my vag is so smooth its legendary
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
