If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
