Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
